Out-of-Focus!

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

This has become a mantra of sorts for me over the last several weeks, as tasks and activities started coming in all at once, from all sides. Years of experience in "juggling" various roles and responsibilities taught me that there was only one thing to do: "focused multi-tasking." I know that sounds like an oxymoron – but it basically means that given the multiple tasks that need to be done, one has to prioritize and then focus on doing things one at a time.

So that’s how it’s been these past weeks – focus, focus, focus.  Do this, then check off the list.  Do that, then check off the list.  And so on and so forth.  Systematic and productive! 

But at morning mass today, as I was praying after communion, Jesus reminded me ever-so-gently – “Shouldn’t I be your ONLY focus?”

Bam!  That sure hit home!  

I realized as soon as I 'heard' Him whisper that line to me – that in the whirlwind of activity day in and day out (and in my eagerness to 'get it all done'), I actually began going out-of-focus.  I’d stopped beginning my day in prayer the way I did just a few months ago.  Back then, I’d even make it a point to get up extra early so that I would have longer prayer time.  As soon as I got up at 4:30 or 5:00 in the morning and make my bed, I would immediately sit in my little prayer corner and have my morning chat with God. [see photo on left: my "purple prayer corner"; my regular prayer books -- the SVD Vademecum (Latin for "walk with me"), where I get my morning prayers; God's Word Among Us Prayer Journal & The Word in Other Words, where I read the daily readings & some reflections; and "Good Morning...GOD", which is my favorite devotional]

Lately though, even if I managed to wake up at an early hour, I would go straight to my laptop...right out of bed!  Tsk, tsk!  No wonder I haven’t been quite "in sync" with the flow of the Spirit these days.  No wonder I haven’t been feeling that kind of energy I used to experience, which I know only comes from Above.  It's because I haven't been focusing on the right thing! (or more precisely, on the Right One!)

Thank you, Lord for reminding me to "focus, focus, focus"...only on YOU! 

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." - Matt 6:33 (NIV)

"I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing." – John 15:5 (NRSV) 

* * *

As I was composing this blog post, one of my favorite worship songs came to mind, which perfectly fits the realization I had this morning at mass:

the heart of worship

when the music fades

all is stripped away
and i simply come
longing just to bring
something that's of worth
that will bless your heart

i'll bring you more than a song
for a song in itself
is not what you have required
you search much deeper within
through the way things appear
you're looking into my heart

chorus:
I'm coming back to the heart of worship
and it's all about you
It's all about you, Jesus
I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all about you
it's all about you, Jesus

King of endless worth
no one could express
how much you deserve
though i'm weak and poor
all i have is yours
every single breath

(chorus)